Hyphens are important!

In my last post, I originally gave you the wrong address to my new blog.

Here is the correct address: maxiewawa.blog-city.com

As an ironic twist, the firewall blocking this site you are looking at has now been lifted and web surfers in China can view this blog once more.

Blogger Blocked!

This is my old blog.

A lot of people in Shanghai can't read my blog at this address so I'm moving it. For the new improved site, head to maxiewawa.blog-city.com.

The Incan Empire

In an adult class last Thursday, we learnt about the Incan Empire. The Incan empire existed for about 100 years from the mid-15th to mid-16th century.

We found out about some imaginative Incan punishments. People were executed by:

1. Beheading


2. Stoning


3. Being thrown off a cliff


4. Being thrown into a pit of wild animals

I asked students which they would prefer. Some said beheading, as it would be a quick and painless death. Other students said that they would not surrender.

Some said that they would prefer being thrown into a pit of wild animals, and thought that maybe they could kill those animals and escape.

Another student suggested that stoning might not be so bad: if one was skilled enough, one might catch rocks and throw them back at attackers.

Another student suggested that if you survived being thrown off a cliff, you would be less likely to be chased, because the person chasing you would also have to jump off the cliff.

Vehicles in Chinese

A Chinese lesson! The words used are:

1. 车(chē) = car
   
2. 过马路 (guò mă lù) = cross the road
3. 路 (lù) = road
4. 南路 （nán lù) = south road
5. 自行车 （zì xíng chē）= bike/bicycle
6. 面包车 （miàn bāo chē) = van
   
7. 摩托车 （mó tuō chē) = motorbike
8. 公车 (gōng chē) = bus

An accident!

I got out of the taxi at Lianxi Primary school yesterday, when I saw an accident.

Sorry, that's not true.

I didn't see the accident.

First, I saw a lot of people standing on the road. They were looking at something on the ground. When I saw so many people looking at something, I ran to see.

It was a man lying next to a motorbike. Near the motorbike was a van. Its windshield (the window at the front) was broken. The motorbike was broken too.

The man wasn't hurt. Not even a little bit. But he was lying on the ground.

He was talking to all the people. I think he was just lazy. Or maybe he felt shy because a crowd of people was looking at him.

I looked at the fourth floor of Lianxi Primary school, and I saw some of my students. Because they were so far away, they couldn't see very clearly.

I took some photos to show them. You can see the broken windshield and the lazy man.

Superstitions

In grade 5, we read something about superstitions. There were 5 superstitions. One was true, the others were made up. We also made up some superstitions.
Can you guess which is true, and which ones are made up? Only one is true.

1. Don't walk under a ladder, or you will get bad luck.
2. Don't dance under a ladder, or a hammer will fall on your head.
3. Don't swim near a shark, or you will become a shark's friend.
4. Don't use a wig to clean your house, or you will lose all your hair.

I think number four is the best. Do you agree? (请留言）

Chinese Lesson

Ok, another lesson for grade 1 level learners. But today we're learning Chinese.

If you're up to it, look at these photos. Every one of these people has something in common. They could all be described (in Chinese) as being pàng. I won't tell you what this word means, see if you can guess.










For those of us who are adventurous, we might try to form a sentence using this adjective.

Tā pàng le.

This sentence includes pàng, (pàng is the adjective), tā, which means 'he' or 'she', and the particle le, which makes it into the past tense. It is a quirk of Chinese that when saying someone is fat, you usually say something similar to 'he became fat' instead of 'he is fat'. You'll get used to it.

And for the even more adventurous:

他（她）胖了

The first character is for 'he', the second is for 'she'.

And if you haven't worked it out by now, the chinese word pàng means 'fat'.

Well duh.

Keeping a straight face

There is some Chinese in this story. If you don't read Chinese, don't panic though, there isn't much. Just try and skip over it, what is being said should be clear enough. If you're not, click on the 'comments' button at the bottom of this post to get the translations.

I was walking out of Dong Chang rd station in Pudong when someone stopped me.

"你对英语有感兴趣吗？"

Inside World Plaza on Dong Chang rd, there are a number of English schools. They employ people to stand outside and try to sign up people on the street. No one had ever asked me before though.

I shook my head, but took his pamphlet anyway. I am interested in English; I'm just not interested in talking to strangers who stop me on the street about it. He kept following me.

"我们是。。。"

He was giving me his sales pitch. I wasn't really listening though.

"...免费..."

This got my attention. I was curious, and since it wasn't going to cost me anything, I realised I had nothing to lose.

"免费？" I asked.

He nodded. A mischevious thought came into my head.

"好的," I said.

He took me back into World Plaza and into one of the schools. I was greeted by a lady who asked me to fill in a form. I did the best I could filling in the Chinese (I couldn't read everything on the form) and spoke as little as I could (they might have picked up from my accent that I wasn't really Chinese).

I trying to write my address in Chinese characters, but gave up. I couldn't remember if I lived on '浙江' road or '折江' road. The characters look so similar... I decided to leave it blank.

Eventually I was led into a small room with three computers. It was explained to me that this would test my English level. If I was to sign up at this school, my result in this test would determine which class I would be put in. Level 1 was the lowest, and this school taught all the way up to level 20, a native level.

Keeping a straight face, I obediently sat through the test, clicking the answers I thought were correct. After about ten minutes of being left alone, I realised that this wasn't going to be as funny as I thought it was. I had pictured myself being put in a class of English learners, and suprising everyone with my command of English. I finished three of the five parts of the test, and left the room. I tried to creep out the door, but then I heard someone call out behind me.

"先生，您昨晚了吗？"

I just wanted to get out before I was found out! I mumbled,

"对... 我没时间作完..."

And with that I left. The last thing I heard from behind me was a surprised voice:

"哇，全对！考了20级！但他自己的地址也不会写！"